-Mandisa
Is it really as simple as that? Yes, it is. Our thoughts and actions
toward ourselves and the beliefs we hold regarding ourselves would be very
different if we just believed the truth; the truth that only comes from our
Savior. The truth that says we are "fearfully and wonderfully made";
the truth that reminds us His eyes saw our unformed bodies when we were woven
together in the depths of the earth; the truth that "He chose us in him
before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight";
the truth that declares "we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus
to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do"; the truth
that we are the "salt of the earth"; and lastly, the truth that we
are worthy for His ever abounding grace, redemption, mercy, and love. Yes, the
love that "is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does
not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not
self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of
wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It
always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." -1
Corinthians 13:4-7
Many of our struggles in life are spurred from the unrealistic
expectations we hold for ourselves. Thinking we are the sole exception to so
many "self-care rules" pushes us into a state of mind that what we
are is never enough. We are quick to tell others to take a break from work
every now and then, go to bed early some nights, indulge in a piece of cake
here and there, lighten up on the to-do list, yet we often think we are weak,
selfish, and/or settling for less if we dare apply these suggestions to our own
lives.
There is a perfectionist state of mind to which so many of us fall
victim. I think of perfectionists in two categories: the always-doing, over-achieving perfectionist
(the kind who never stops accomplishing things and goes about each day like a
race car) and the extremely detail-oriented, super-high expectation perfectionist
(the kind who get so caught up in the details they either never complete
anything, or they are so fearful of not being perfect, they just don't try. But
when they do finish something, it is usually exemplary.).
There are many reasons why one might feel they are the sole exception
to self-care rules or for being a perfectionist. They are different for each
individual, but some "common themes" exist: being told you are not
worthy as a child; being told nothing you do is good enough, or never being
told what you do is outstanding; thinking you always have to do, do, and do
just for others to notice you; physical or verbal abuse as a child or an
adult; catastrophizing a mistake
you made in the past and letting it define your current identity; the belief
your worth is dictated by how much you do for others and how little you do for
yourself; a misunderstanding in your faith; and of course
the societal belief that humans will be happier the more they
accomplish. The reason behind these (or your) unrealistic expectations is
important to understand. It is even more important, however, to educate yourself;
understand the significance; and accept the unimaginable truth Christ
holds for each of us.
The moment we can stop, and I mean truly stop, and silence the worldly
standards for human kind, is the moment we begin to experience freedom.
The kind of freedom that is glorious, renewing, and reviving; freedom that is
life giving amidst a society’s mindset that can be so life draining. Proverbs
31:30 kindly reminds us "charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting."
So why do we all get overly caught up in work, school, accomplishments, salary,
body image, exercise, etc.? It all goes back to your core principals and the
beliefs you hold about yourself. In order to change the way you take care of
yourself, you must first change those thoughts that never seem to go away - the
negative self-talk and the life draining self-judgment.
I am, by no means, saying hard work is undesirable, or dressing cute
is unacceptable. The difference is whether it becomes something you do for
yourself or something you become obsessive about to meet today's standards. It
is a fine line of balance. Anything that distracts you from Him is an idol. We
must pay attention and recognize when certain thoughts or actions become idols.
"I am deeply grieved when My blessings become idols in their hearts."
(Jesus Calling).
I challenge you all to search within and think about for
whom you are doing what. A simple test could be "If God was here, would I
still be doing this?" Or simply "Why am I doing this?" You have
the power to continue the action or not, but at least you’ll have put some
thought into it, as opposed to automatically doing things because you feel you
"have to" or "should."
Father, I thank you that I'm forgiven. I thank You that You approve
me and that I am your friend. I thank you that each and every morning I am
equipped with the armor of God: the breastplate of righteousness, the belt of
truth, the boots of peace, the helmet of salvation, the shield of faith, and
the sword of the spirit. I am strong; I am capable; I am equipped. You are all
that matters...
-Love in Christ,
Leighton
"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be
transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test
and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."
-Romans 12:2
